The Adventures Of Dr. Speed

So, we drove up to the High Desert to my sister's house. There were the usual suspects there. Everything went well. I played my usual role as the amiable drunk. There was much merriment, eating, and convos. My sister's business is going swimmingly.

Unfortunately, my niece called from Oklahoma. She is such a Fucking Hypocritical Bitch. She supposedly is all into God, but she treats people like shit, and she consistantly says fucked up shit to me to get under my skin.

So Fucking Hypocritical Bitch is on the speakerphone talking to everyone, and she's fucking crying because she's fucking 30 years old and she's alone in Oklahoma and no one of the opposite sex wants her (and that's a whole 'nother story), and out of no where, this bitch says " . . . and Uncle Brian, I'm going to pray for you and your personality and your ways . . . "

BITCH!

You want to pray for someone, pray for your fucking self. You have no fucking clue about the shit that I have to deal with every fucking day.

Every. Fucking. Day.

The average fucker would have eaten a bullet already. Probably 2. I'm still going strong, while you had to run to goddamn Oklahoma, because you're still trying to fucking find yourself. You're another one that talks the talk but can't walk the walk.

My personality and and my ways are my problem, not yours, so fuck off.

If you weren't my niece . . .

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving.