The Adventures Of Dr. Speed

Let's start with Betty Page, you are absolutely the best fuckbuddy, ever. It's pretty cool the way that things have evolved from a simple fling, to some earthshaking fucking. You've changed your whole life for me, or really, because you love this dick. I will never forget that, you sexy motherfucker.

Next up, The Living Amazon, the sex with you was good, not great. But yet, you started running around telling fuckers that I rocked your world, and no one had ever touched you like I had, and you started introducing me to your buddies as your boyfriend. Oh yeah, I know that they were outside when we fucked that time. I hope they enjoyed the show. I told your pretty ass from the start that all I wanted was a drama-free sexual relationship. Things started out fine, then you came with the famous BLACK WOMAN'S 'tude. Even when I told you to chill with that shit, you kept coming with more and more. Any wonder that I stopped seeing you? That shit is fucking creepy, and is the reason you are single today. With a body like yours, you could have anyone you want, too bad your head is so fucked up.

Miss Prissy . . . shit, where do I start? Frankly, you are much lighter-skinned than I usually prefer. You really remind me of FloJo. Complete with FloJo's body. And you're a complicated motherfucker. The courtship with you was a solid trip. Yes, I had no idea that you wanted me to kiss you. Yes, I had no idea that you were inviting me to your house. Yes, I had no idea that you wanted to fuck me. You knew that I was married, you knew that I had a mistress, so where exactly does that leave you? First, you call me a whore, then you tell me that you are going to fuck me. For the record, bitch, I'm more of a slut, than a whore. Get your shit straight. Then, when I am inside you, you try to tell me that I'm supposed to ask you before I have sex with anyone else.
You know my history. What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously.
And by the way, you're a grown-ass woman, do you really think that your momma doesn't know that you have sex? You are too fucking neurotic, but I like fucking you, so I'm going to keep on. Enjoy the ride, psycho.

A-Bomb; you make me fucking sick. You look like Naomi Campbell, but you have no hips. None. That's a deal-breaker you ignorant fucker. And, you're only 22. Waaaaay to young for me, girl. Your last boyfriend drugged you, took your credit card, and got a room at the Bel-Air Hotel so he could fuck some video bitches. You came crying on my shoulder, hoping that I would pick you up. I knew then that you were too stupid to fuck with. "Oh Brian, what should I do?" I told you right then that you shouldn't fuck with anyone on the job, and the next thing I know, you've hooked up with E-20. You're another one who could have anyone she wants, and you settle for that piece of shit. Now, he's playing fucked up mindgames on you, and you're walking around crying because you think you need him. You are too fucking beautiful to be so goddamn insecure. The worst part? Some of my buddies think that I've conquered you already. I despise your weakness that you wear like a badge of honor.

Tornado Girl. You think it's cool to tell me what a prick I am, and how much of a jerk I am. I only listen to your shit because you give good head, and we used to have fun together.