Monday, December 11, 2006
Dr. Speed's List (Part 3)
Beverly Hills - You are 50 years old, 5 feet tall, 100 pounds overweight, and you decide to have a baby. Any wonder that it was a preemie? "Oh Dr. Speed, look at my baby!" You make me nauseous. Gah.
Russian - I don't know you, I don't know shit about you, except that you are kicking my ass in the league. One thing that I do know is this, like the song says, "Everybody plays a fool, there's no exception to the rule . . . "
The only problem that I have, is that you were played by a fucking Yeti.
Dude, that woman is seriously foul. But, maybe you like fat, ugly woman. I have a buddy, Iron Jerkwood, the guy is rail-thin. He only dates fat women. Real fat women. Like with rolls of fat hanging off them. It's like the Jack Sprat story come to life. He says that they are low maintainance and good pussy. I don't get it, but what the hell, I say different strokes for different folks. You could have squashed the whole thing by coming clean. Your non-denial denial enables you to apply for a job in the Bush administration. Hurry, theres not much time left.
Anyway, there is only one Casanova, pal, and he never got played like you did.
Human Torch - You're the guy with the pornstar name, which I am sorely tempted to use. I wish that I could hang with you more, but you party waaaaaay too fucking hard for me. But, you're funny, and your ribald tales make me laugh.
Hillary Bonehead Clinton - How about that Rock-Star Obama, eh? lol. I bet you never saw this coming, did you? So much for laying low, time to raise that profile, dontcha think? I know that you hate the guy, but you have one of the world's greatest political minds at your disposal. It's stupid not to use that guy's insight. Good luck in the future, you're gonna need it.
Russian - I don't know you, I don't know shit about you, except that you are kicking my ass in the league. One thing that I do know is this, like the song says, "Everybody plays a fool, there's no exception to the rule . . . "
The only problem that I have, is that you were played by a fucking Yeti.
Dude, that woman is seriously foul. But, maybe you like fat, ugly woman. I have a buddy, Iron Jerkwood, the guy is rail-thin. He only dates fat women. Real fat women. Like with rolls of fat hanging off them. It's like the Jack Sprat story come to life. He says that they are low maintainance and good pussy. I don't get it, but what the hell, I say different strokes for different folks. You could have squashed the whole thing by coming clean. Your non-denial denial enables you to apply for a job in the Bush administration. Hurry, theres not much time left.
Anyway, there is only one Casanova, pal, and he never got played like you did.
Human Torch - You're the guy with the pornstar name, which I am sorely tempted to use. I wish that I could hang with you more, but you party waaaaaay too fucking hard for me. But, you're funny, and your ribald tales make me laugh.
Hillary Bonehead Clinton - How about that Rock-Star Obama, eh? lol. I bet you never saw this coming, did you? So much for laying low, time to raise that profile, dontcha think? I know that you hate the guy, but you have one of the world's greatest political minds at your disposal. It's stupid not to use that guy's insight. Good luck in the future, you're gonna need it.
// posted by The Wonderfulness Of Dr. Speed @ 6:44 AM 
